Eric Andre Rates Axl Rose, Jesus and 311 | Over/Under

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(drum roll)

Richard's awesome. He ages like a wax figure.

Like he's looked the same since like 1955.

He's underrated and he's been in the closet this whole time.

Do you know how hard it is?

It's hard enough being gay.

It's harder to be in the closet your entire life,

'till into your eighties?

That's insane. Just fuckin suck a dick on TV already.

(drum roll)

Axl Rose is overrated. I fucking hate Guns 'N Roses.

I think they're a bunch of fucking racist bigots.

Listen to that fucking song.

I almost said Birth of a Nation.

It's called One in a Million,

but it might as well be Birth of Nation.

I'd rather put, break open an old thermometer

and pour mercury in my ears

than have that shit go into my brain.

(drum roll)

On a motherfucking plane.

Snakes, snakes, snakes. Snakes are overrated.

Anytime someone's like I have a pet snake,

I'm like uh that's fucking boring.

No, it's cool. They eat mice.

What, you like watching mammals get tortured,

you fucking sociopath?

Fuck you, motherfucker.

I gotta be more angry this year. I think that's what I need.

I think that's what the kids want.

I think that's what I need to do, the ol'

No, snakes are chill.

I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Snakes are chill A F.

(drum roll)

Let me say Jesus is underrated.

Jesus was Black. He was Jewish.

He was a lesbian and he was Muslim and transgender.

So, a lot of Christians have a hard time accepting that

but that's the truth and I have the documents to prove it.

(drum roll)

Statue of Liberty is overrated.

They're like oh it was a gift from the French.

'Cause France didn't want it.

Like here's our garba- I mean gift.

Liberty is just one of those fake buzzwords

Republicans use in speeches to get voters aroused.

We ought to stand up for liberty.

Who's standing against liberty?

Who's like enough of this liberty? (laughs)

These liberals, they don't want liberty.

(laughs) They're anti-liberty.

But yeah, fuck snakes.

(drum roll)

311 is underrated.

They're like my favorite band in the fucking world.

I like it when they go (imitates scatting)

(laughs) Gee-yeah. I'll let you in on a little secret.

Season finale of the Eric Andre Show is 311.

We finally investigate 311.

I'm a 311 truther.

(drum roll)

Chucky from Child's Play is overrated.

I think in the 80's he was terrifying 'cause I actually

had a doll that looked like that.

But he fell into the same trap that Freddy Kruger

and the Crypt Keeper, they always did these

really corny, hammy dad-jokes and puns

that, like, did not age well and be like:

I guess that's why you call it dead on arrival.

(giggling)

And be like, uh, okay I get it.

That's like, not funny.

You fuckin asshole, you're a murderer too. Fuck you.

(drum roll)

Butt implants are gross.

What happened in your childhood that you gotta...

First of all, you want butt implants, just eat cheesecake.

Just eat a burger. (laughing)

Just like, sit around. You'll have butt implants in no time.

(drum roll)

Wile E. Coyote was just overrated, just kinda one note.

He was so predictable.

I wanna see, like, an episode where Wile E. Coyote

violently, savagely, tears Road Runner apart.

Like, catches him and like, tortures him in a basement

for like years.

And like, sodomizes him and pulls out his feathers

one-by-one and just fuckin eats him alive.

You know, cuts his dick off and barbecues it and eats it

like that German computer technician did to that guy

that he found on Craig's List or whatever.

I want, like, an awful fucking slow, painful death

for the Road Runner. Fuck the Road Runner.

For sure.

(drum roll)

Sammy Hagar (imitating guitar jam)

I'm Sammy Hagar.

He should put out a song that goes:

♫ Drink my tequila, fuck you David Lee Roth.

♫ Ooooo, woo, woo, woo.

♫ Come on, suck my little-ass penis oh

♫ And drink tequila from the tip of my nipples

♫ Yeah baby, baby, Cabo Wabo, yeah!

Then I would listen to him (laughs)

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