Billie Eilish Rates Being Homeschooled, Goths, and Invisalign

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Babies, ooh.

I love babies.

Babies love me, because I think they see me as one of them,

and I really do think that.

They see me, and I'm like, they're like,

oh, my god, another baby!

Oh, yeah, they love sucking on these.

It's crazy.

I mean, I do too though, because I have an iron deficiency,

so I just...

Shit taste good.

Like do you guys like the taste of blood? [laughs]

Do you?

Does anyone here like the taste of blood, 'cause I like it.

I like the taste of blood, I like the taste of like,

pennies, and like, metal, and like, poles, and...

Jewelry, like dirty jewelry tastes so good.

It's got that like...

Ooh.

I think my mom gives me iron pills.

She's nodding her head over there.

My mom definitely gives me iron pills.

'Cause I used to...

No, I used to literally suck on pennies and shit.

And like, I would lick poles, my dumb ass, my...

[laughing]

But don't they make you constipated?

[laughing offscreen]

They don't make me constipated, I don't get constipated.

I poop, I poop just fine.

[laughing offscreen]

I love pooping, go on.

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Ooh, pooping, underrated.

One billion percent underrated.

Pooping is my favorite part of the day.

There was one day I pooped eight times.

That was the best day of my life.

And they were all solid, good poops too,

like no, like, bullshit poops, you know what I'm saying?

I wasn't like, [mimics farting] oh, I'm done.

I wasn't also like...

Those are the bad poops, when you poop like...

Yo, I'm really talkin' about poop out here.

[laughs] I love pooping, dude.

But here's the thing, it's really about your diet,

because you can have miserable poops.

People who don't like pooping

are probably people who eat like shit.

But sometimes when you eat like shit,

your poop is incredible.

Sometimes it's horrible.

You eat a bunch of Hot Cheetos, that is burning poop.

Burning, like a lighter, down there.

Like [mimics lighter], hold it there.

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What?

Um...

I don't know.

I'm really flipped out by teenagers, dude.

But I am one too, so...

[burps] I don't know.

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Overrated!

Overrated as hell, prom? Ew!

It's where the most beautiful girls

get asked by the worst dudes to prom,

and they're like, yeah!

'Cause they finally found someone that likes 'em.

[laughs] Why is every pretty girl

with a horrible-looking man?

I don't understand.

Listen, I'm not shaming...

People for their looks, but I am though.

You give an ugly guy a chance, he thinks he rules the world.

I swear to god.

Because they got a hot girl, they can be horrible?

Like, you're still ugly though.

Can't change that.

Maybe that's why.

Maybe that's like, why guys with small dicks

get like, huge mansions, to make up for it, you know?

Or like, really nice cars. [laughs]

You know?

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Invisalign can suck my dick. [laughs]

Honestly, Invisalign, like, okay.

You know what, here's the thing.

When I got it the first time, it was the worst.

I would not have...

Like, I would have rather like, cut off my nose

or some shit, instead of having Invisalign.

But it did work really well, and very fast.

And it's off now, and I'm good, so...

Fine, it's fine, it's...

Shit is expensive as fuck.

And dude, I mentioned it in my album,

and I still didn't get it for free.

I still had to pay OD money, so stupid.

So stupid.

I gave 'em...

I gave 'em so much stupid promo.

These bitches still make me pay.

For a little clear grill.

But Invisalign doesn't wanna give me free Invisalign,

so fuck 'em.

Overrated.

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You... [laughs]

I've never sleepwalked.

My mom one time was like, Billie, [laughs]

you rapped a whole verse while you were sleeping. [laughs]

She said that while I was asleep, she was like, what was it?

You were laying next to me, and I rapped a whole verse.

I was asleep, I rapped.

I don't sleepwalk.

That shit is terrifying.

That's terrifying.

And then there's like, stories about people like,

waking up with like, a knife...

Like over someone.

And they don't remember it?

Okay.

Oh, I was sleepwalking.

Don't sleepwalk, that shit is creepy.

Tie yourself to your bed, I don't care,

do some bondage on yourself, I don't care.

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Well I've never been to school.

I grew up homeschooled, stayed homeschooled,

never was not homeschooled.

The thing is like, I still learned everything, you know?

But I learned it in life, you know, I learned like...

How to do math by cooking with my mom

and seeing how many halves are gonna make this amount,

you know, how are we gonna...

If we double this recipe, how many more do we have to put

in this batch right here?

And so that's how I learned math,

and then I learned like, how to build shit from my dad.

What I'm saying is like, I learned shit in life.

I didn't have to like...

'Cause I feel like when you're sat down,

and somebody's like, shoving things in your throat,

you're not gonna wanna eat them.

It's like, everybody forced everybody's kid

to eat broccoli, right?

Nobody likes broccoli.

But maybe, you weren't forced to eat broccoli,

you're like, shit, this shit is good as hell.

With some butter?

I mean, there's a lot of ways to do it, there's...

I think some people do it the wrong way,

which is just like...

Makes your life horrible, and miserable, and boring,

and that's mainly because of your parents.

'Cause parents are lazy as fuck.

That's why they send their kids

to school in the first place.

I don't wanna teach you, bitch.

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You know what?

I actually really like high heels.

I think high heels are really dope.

And I've been feeling the urge to put them on recently.

Like, just an urge, I don't know what it is.

I don't know why these things are happening.

I got acrylic nails, I wore hair extensions the other day,

I don't know what is goin' on.

[laughs] Weird shit, I'm not used to it.

I don't know, I don't know, I...

I love heels, I think heels are really dope.

I think they're really cool.

I think they...

Sometimes they're designed really well,

they're really pretty.

I think it's a really cool idea to...

I know bitches are uncomfortable too, so there's that.

But comfort is not always key.

These pants suck to wear,

but they're fire though, so I wear 'em.

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Underrated, because I think...

For a while, they were kinda like...

Frowned upon, and I don't think people

give goths credit for like...

Giving everyone now all of their fashion influence.

You know what I'm saying?

Because I literally saw like, an old ad for...

Like an old like, motivational video thing [laughs]

about this girl that wears like, all black,

and she's like, pretty emo, goth, whatever.

She goes to school, and everybody like...

Nobody likes her, and everyone makes fun of her,

and da-da-da-da-da-da, and I just was watching it like,

if that was now, and there was one girl

who dressed like, she would be like...

Everyone would idolize her,

everyone would think she was so cool.

And I don't think...

Like, I just think people don't give goths enough credit.

You know?

Because all like...

That's what people wear now.

Chains and like, chokers, and like,

those like, pointy chokers and shit.

That all came from that whole emo world,

you know what I'm saying?

I remember like, when I was like...

10 or 11, you'd wear like, all black,

and people would be like, what are you, goth?

When you wear like, a shirt that's black

and some pants that are black too.

People don't give 'em enough credit, man.

Everyone's goth now.

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Ooh, underrated.

I have a tree house that my dad built us

that's like, so high in the tree in our backyard.

And I can go so high that I'm like,

sitting at the top of the tree.

It's crazy, I can see like, the whole...

Neighborhood, it's amazing.

And I used to sit up there and write songs

in the rain with my ukulele.

And I also had a pulley, so I'd put the pulley

over the branch, I'd be down there,

I'd put the ukulele in the pulley,

I'd go up into the tree, I'd grab the rope,

and then I'd pull it up, I'd grab the ukulele,

I'd climb up more into the tree,

I'd sit on my little thing, and I'd write a song

with my little notebook.

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[laughs] Underrated.

Oh, my god.

Avril Lavigne was everything to me, dude.

I love Avril...

I really, I love Avril Lavigne.

I only love her, like I don't...

There's nothing else there.

Just love, like...

Only love.

There's like, almost no artist like that.

Avril Lavigne and Justin Bieber, I only love.

Like, her, Tyler, Gambino, and Bieber, to be honest...

Made me, I would not be...

And Lana, probably.

Yeah, there's no way.

My god, she...

She has my number though.

She texts me sometimes.

[laughs] It's so cool, she's like,

hey babe, it's Avril, xo.

Oh, my god! [laughs]

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